Dear Co-worker who thinks Global Warming is a charade,

For starters, it's not. And no, not all garbage goes to the same place. It's not like your Dr. Pepper can flies away when it dies and floats up to garbage heaven to be reincarnated as a plastic take-out container. Garbage sits in, around, and on our planet slowly decomposing and off-gasing.

Your effort to kill my recycling plan at work is futile; all it does is infuriate me which is not wise on your behalf since our bosses like me better anyway. If you continue to thwart my plan to obey Jack Johnson and reduce, re-use, and recycle, I will have to get you fired. Seriously. If I ever have to pick out your disgusting orange peel from our recycling bin because YOU ARE TOO LAZY to put it in the garbage that is located THIRTEEN VERY FAR INCHES AWAY, I will make it my personal goal to see that you suffer the same miserable fate of the polar bears and any other species that becomes extinct because of STUPID, LAZY, FAT people like yourself.

Yes, I know you aren't fat, YET. Keep it up.

Warmest Regards,

Your co-worker, aka

- A UCSC Alumni who has since become a titty feeding co-sleeping tree-hugging hippy-nazi

P.S. Anyone Jewish who is reading this, don't be offended by the Nazi thing. Some girl labeled me a titty-feeding nazi and since it's basically the truth, it stuck.