Presenting a sales pitch

1) Do not keep saying, "Does that make sense?" as it might make your audience feel you are a condescending-know-it-all. The sheer fact that you are in sales and not science should be enough to indicate that yes, we understand.

2) That thing where you lick your fingers and flip pieces of paper incessantly? Stop it. It's disgusting, not to mention unhygienic. I don't want any literature that contains your saliva.

Why we can't agree on life insurance

You like to carefully peel back the plastic wrap on every electronic device we own, because it's fun.

I never want to remove it because of the security it provides; that plastic wrap will keep my new toy pristine.

And if, by chance, I happen to spill a glass of Barbera, I can *then* carefully peel back the plastic wrap smugly, for I have outwitted myself yet again.

You cannot imagine how uncomfortable it is for me without that safety net, but somehow, I think we'll manage.

Sounds of Silence

I always wondered how my mother knew I was up to something naughty, or inappropriate. She used to say she had eyes in the back of her head, but now I realize you don't have to watch your baby to know she's into mischief.

For Sofie, silence indicates an amazing discovery, like stairs, electrical outlets, potted plants, or any form of paper. Needless to say we are both hyper-vigilant about listening for silence and finding our beloved monster. (And subsequently stopping her from getting into whatever it is she's eating or tearing apart)

This morning as I was three feet away getting ready for work I realized her incessant baby babble had stopped. I found her in a pile of toilet paper, methodically unraveling the roll and saving the best pieces for her next meal. I removed the roll and the special bits she saved to eat, and she immediately plunked her hand into the toilet bowl, as if to say, "Look, lady, it's either toilet paper or e.coli. You decide."

Sweeny Todd comes to A.C.T theater!

Any musical about murder and eating people is good by me.

I wish we could see this, but we're gonna have to pass this time around. Boo. I love the demon barber of Fleet Street!

Obesity in America

I just read that 47 states have an obesity rate higher than 20%, versus 15 years ago when not a single state exceeded 15%.

Tonight marks the return of NBC's The Biggest Loser and in a tribute to obesity in America, and my last 10-15 baby-weight pounds, I did some crunches, lunges, reverse lunges, bridges, and push-ups. More importantly, I did not eat the last half of my burrito from Taqueria Guadalahara. Surely with my eating habits you know that this was no small feat.

Watching these people sweat, cry, vomit and lose weight is really inspirational for me. Kind of makes me want to do something similar at home, but then of course I am jolted back into reality by having yet another night where I wake up every 1.5 hours all night long. Sleep deprivation has completely sapped my energy much less my inclination to lose weight.