Thirteen is such an awkward age, is it not?
The adults of the family let you hang out when it suits our needs, but whenever something important comes up, we are quick to send you into the other room to watch your younger sister, forever reminding you that you are in fact a child. We won't let you go to concerts without adult supervision but rely on you to handle the cooking when we are too tired or preoccupied.
It's unfair, and I can appreciate this difficult time because I remember what it was like to lay awake in bed agonizing over the "right" thing to wear on my first day back at school only to find that my "perfect outfit" wasn't nearly as awesome as I'd hoped, and that I no longer cared on account of being so darn tired.
This age is full of disappointment and bittersweet negotiation as you figure out who you are, who your friends are, and who you want to be.
Your braces are off, and recently your wisdom teeth were removed. Sitting next to you while you came out of anesthesia, sobbing and confused, was surreal and sweet. I laughed while your mother cried, and although we doted on you, we were quick to poke fun at your feeble attempts to talk to us through a mouthful of gauze about how important your shoes were. Welcome to the family.
Sometimes I wonder if we aren't too saracastic with you -- if maybe you are too sensitive for our off-handedly rude remarks, when you startle me with an acerbic and witty remark, reminding all of us you are capable and can handle your own.
You are bonding with my husband and I feel absolute joy when I watch you two exchange barbs while snickering together. If you can hold your own with Nick, you should have no problem with the kids at school.
Roughly a month ago you spent the night and we played games and dyed your hair. The results were far more subtle than we wanted, but now we have permission from your parents to do it again and get CRAZY!
Speaking of your parents - I know you are struggling with their authority and control over you. I remember this and I remember how much I wanted to be treated like an adult - an equal - a peer. The thing is, you are not an equal, and it's their job to protect you and prevent you from having to face all the responsibility and negative aspects of life. Your mom and Michael take this duty very seriously and even though they aren't perfect, and don't listen the way you want, they are excellent parents whom you'll be thankful you had at some distant point in the future.
I love that I have known you and been close to you since before you were born. I love how we can discuss real things together and I love that you are slowly able to bond with me as a woman, instead of as a little girl.
You are amazing, beautiful, and hilarious. Take your time growing up - be mindful of how much you have in your life and how many people are there to support you through anything.
Love Always,
Aunt Sissy
Labels: Family
