Today it's the size of a pinto bean!

Last week it was a jelly belly, and this week a pinto bean! I think I will compare this baby to food the entire pregnancy - oh heck, probably it's whole life.

I'll admit I want it to be left handed, but mostly I'm just concerned that it _has_ hands. We had a brief scare right off the bat and it completely freaked me out. But things are fine and we're doing great - all three of us.

Nick's been unimaginably wonderful since we found out, commuting, cooking, cleaning, you name it. And yes, I've been busy with school (just finished finals!) but I think he'd be doing all this regardless.

Baby is due 12/3/06, which is very strange because that's not only the date I picked when registering for some baby forum thing, but it's also the same exact date my sister is due. She was supposed to be due 11/29/06, but then her doctor revised it. Strange. Cousins within days.

I'm certain the child will be late, because what's the point of leaving the cozy nap zone to have your ass slapped by strangers whom you can't even see? Exactly.

I'm feeling pretty great overall, although, I have to say, this whole, "Hi I have junior high acne again," thing is really disturbing. But I've gotten it under control and so far you can't even tell I'm knocked up.

I have a million other things to post about, like the dog behind my house, Max, who is less than 12 pounds and barks incessantly after 11:00, while his owner yells, "Max! Maxie, come here! Max! Maaaaxx!"

So yeah, a lot is going on.

Here's your update, Steve. Hope you like it. ;)

Walking the lake always proves to be interesting, if nothing else.

I used to love where I live, but in the past fourteen months I've become disenchanted with the lack of parking, the idiots who continually bang up my car's otherwise perfect bumper, and the ghetto-ized area the lake has become.

Yet anytime I venture out, something interesting take me by surprise. The other night while walking the lake I ogled the following things:

* A lady who jogged slower than I was walking (I know, not that interesting but it gets better)
* An inter-racial gay couple openly holding hands and being lovey-dovey (boo-yah!)
* A drunk puking on his pack of Marlboros and himself
* A man _sleeping_ in his car while it was _running_

The last one was the most interesting and was even slightly alarming. I debated as to whether or not to knock on his window and advise him not to sleep in a running car - thinking he could get car-jacked more easily if caught off guard, but then it occurred to me he might be packing and if I startled him awake he might just go ahead and cap me.

Man. You just gotta love Oakland.

Today I have penis envy ...

in a very bad way.

You guys just have it easier.

So, if you are a man, be wary, or send flowers.

Grrrr.

I need a girl date for a year.

Warning! Your Computer Is Infected ...

My shiny new 12" Dell laptop arrived today with a beautiful tiny screen. It's super light and so much smaller than my Mac. Plus, it will enable me to take my career in an entirely new direction which is challenging and very exciting.

Lucky for me I have a super-smart computer boyfriend who can totally hook me up with special software and make sure the installs go smoothly.

Or do I?

He made what he likes to call a fat-fingered mistake, which generally means that he completely disregarded a cardinal rule of the Computer Geeks, like double clicking on an icon even though you have no idea what it is. Or, being in the root directory of a Unix machine and using an asterisk to "move" all the files.

Less than seven hours after my computer arrived it had a spyware infection so hearty that Ad-Aware and Spybot could do nothing to remedy it since both programs kept crashing as soon as they got to the chunky nasty Bad File.

Then, demon computer started shutting down at regular intervals.

Having learned from his mistake, he has since started the long process of reinstalling everything on that computer.

Hurray for new laptops and crazy boyfriends who disregard the rules.

The B.O. won't go away on it's own, jocelyn ...

I'm dirty and I need a shower but my brain is too mushy to get up. I just spend the better part of the day (and yesterday) writing this god awful report on The Hershey Company and after pumping out 3100 words in two days I'm very tired of learning about the confectionery business.

Soon I will be done with school and I'll have a Master's degree which means I'll finally feel smart, once and for all, despite all the silly and dorky-lame things I do on a day-to-day basis. I'm sure at first I will relish the freedom of not having homework and having my day end as soon as I'm done with work, but I'm guessing that in less than a year I'll start growing bored and will want something that stimulates me more than daily life.

I'm most excited that I can start reading again because I haven't read a book for fun since I went to Hawaii a year ago for my birthday. I still haven't read the new Harry Potter book and although I know Dumbledore dies, I'm still excited to get caught up.

I'd also like to start exercising again since I've been very negligent of my personal health while stimulated my brain. I'm very good at multi-tasking but not so good about having any balance in my life.

Sunday afternoon's are good for being lazy and I am making a chocolate cake and resting now. How fun.

I'm a switch-cutter!

Yes, yes, yes. I know I'm left-handed. In fact many of you can attest to the fact that I often brag about it and believe (really) that lefties are smarter than righties. I think most lefties think this, they just aren't as vocal about it as me.

So *why* have I been handling knives with my inept right hand? I have no idea except for the old adage "monkey see, monkey do".

Which makes me a monkey.

Anyway, today I was cutting up my apple and I was at an awkward angle so I moved the knife to my left hand and started slicing away. Naturally it totally worked! It felt odd and normal all at once.

I'm so excited to be able to handle sharp objects with *two* hands now!! Wahoo!

I totally forgot it was blue ...

The sky that is.

I finally see sunshine and a blue sky over San Francisco. Wow. I honestly forgot what it looked like.

Eating in bed always induces deep thoughts ...

I've been on a popcorn kick lately and it seems I can't get enough of the tasty treat. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I own an air popper that Maren might have given me, and I decided to buy some real popping corn at the grocery store so I could eat it plain, exactly the way I like. I've searched high and low but it seems that microwaveable popcorn only comes flavored, which is a shame. Someone should make a plain popcorn for people like me.

Anyway, we're eating our popcorn and watching Scrubs. Nick turns to me while contemplating a piece of popcorn and wonders aloud, "Do you think they're like snowflakes - each one unique?"

Of course not. How could they be? I look at the one I'm holding, which has a round head with three mini-pops coming out the sides.

"No way. Take this one for instance, I *know* I've seen this one before."

So then I search the entire bowl for a match and can't find anything that remotely resembles the piece of delicious puffed corn I've just munched on.

And I wonder too .... are they all unique?

I checked Wikipedia to see, but alas, their information on popcorn doesn't mention anything about whether or not they are unique.