I probably didn't think I'd enjoy a glass of Zinfandel with dinner either

When you're five, and twenty-five is light years away, it's easy to plan your entire life and set expectations of yourself. Of course, you still have imaginary friends and believe that pixies are real -- they're just very good at hiding in the bushes.

Like most everyone else, I had certain goals I thought I'd have accomplished at certain ages, and when I saw those birthdays pass without any significant change, I felt somehow inadequate - like my thirty year old self couldn't meet childhood expectations.

On my 30th birthday a friend called to ask how I was feeling and if I was having a good day. I remember saying to her that I thought I'd be somewhere else in life at this point and I was a little disappointed with reality versus the fantasy. In her wisdom, she told me that things I felt I lacked were things I had deliberately chosen to go without because the situation wasn't right, the timing wasn't right, and I wasn't right.

2006 has been so full of life and change that it makes most other years look like filler; years where a fine line and a few gray hairs were necessary to indicate the passage of time.

Nick likes to tease me that I'm late for certain life events like having a kid, or getting married. Every once in a while this bothers me and I wonder if maybe I am late, or I made a mistake that cost me some precious amount of time and *that's* why I strayed from the plan I developed at five.

But then I remember that at five I thought I would never like beer or wine, that all people and things were created equal, and that it was a tragedy when King Kong got killed. And, I really truly believed pixies lived in the bushes outside.