What's the weirdest thing you used to "sneak"?

My brother came into town this weekend, which always means that despite the noisy chatter and squealing of children, we sit around and shoot the shit. We know each other in a such a way that we bounce between random subjects like why it was perfectly okay to sneak to Disneyland in the middle of the night and how to remove a hickey - all in one sentence, if not breath.

I found out this weekend that my sister in law, Karen, used to eat Crisco out of the jar because she could pretend it was cake frosting and somehow trick her brain into thinking it tasted good.

My brother had an affinity for butter and dry cat food. He used to bring Friskies to junior high in a little sandwich bag, where normal people would carry chips or grapes or carrots.

Because I was around family, I could admit that sometimes, while feeding the dogs on a Sunday morning, I would sneak bites of their canned Alpo straight out of the can.

It seems I win for the grossest eating habits here, but before you judge, consider something: canned dog food is not nearly as bad as you think, which my brother confirmed to the dismay of his wife. Think of it like a hotdog with a lot of artificial flavoring.

I never ate the gross ground up stuff either, just the chunky "steak and gravy" kinds.

Finally, and not that this makes it any better, my mom _did_ lock us out of the house for hours at a time when we were small children. What was I supposed to do for food?! Everyone knows I eat like a hobbit.