Oh! It's your first baby?!

If you ever, during the course of your female life, get pregnant, you will find yourself the sudden victim of stupid advice, stupid sayings, and most of all, stupid generalizations.

It has nothing to do with you. Take a lot of deep breaths. Vent to your partner so he, or she, can make fun of the idiot who just gave you permission to "have a glass of wine once in a while".

The people who need to bestow their precious jewels of advice unto you are veteran mothers, inexperienced mothers, friends who have never even had kids, and random strangers who feel you need all the help you can get. Understand that all these people - rude, stupid, and otherwise - are just very excited about your baby and *need to help*.

That's my annoying and rude advice to you because had somebody told me about the constant stream of useless drivel, I would have been better prepared to hide in a cave and never leave the house, talk on the phone, or use the computer.