Even if I only get twenty bucks, I can still take us to a movie and not have to move the fucking thing again.

Otherwise known as "How to get rid of things that mean nothing to you, but you don't just want to throw away."

Ten years ago I dated what I thought was a man. Now before you go and categorize this as some kind of sick and twisted Crying Game scenario, let me me explain that I was young and my idea of a man has since changed dramatically. Back then I thought that men who were controlling, domineering, mean, dismissive of my feelings, and withdrawn were the ones worth pursuing.

Anyway, this particular man did three very nice things for me while we were together:

1) For no reason at all, he came home with flowers and a card and was making me my favorite spaghetti.
2) Carried me to our Christmas tree in the middle of the night while it was lit and beautiful. As a present he gave me an emerald necklace to match some earrings he previously purchased.
3) Took me to Le Virage in Walnut Creek where we had an amazing bottle of wine and excellent food in a private room to celebrate my 21st birthday. Naturally I wore a stunning red dress and adorned myself with the jewelry he bought for me.

Yes, these things seem insignificant. Yet, in a relationship peppered with such rarities they seemed enough to stay with someone who didn't really want me.

Eventually I gave away the earrings because my skin has no tolerance for any kind of metal poking through it; I've no desire to conform to that standard, and I don't need to keep on re-piercing my ears to confirm what I already know.

I've held onto that necklace though. At first because it had sentimental value, and then because I couldn't decide how I wanted to dispose of it. I've moved it nearly ten times and every time I move I wonder to myself, "Why do I have this? What should I do with it?" Every time I end up stashing it in the bottom of my nightstand where I won't have to think about it for months/years to come.

The other night I saw a commercial for a pawn shop named Abla Jewelers, and I decided that even though I won't get very much money, I'm selling the necklace for whatever they offer. At the very least I won't have to move it again and stash it at the bottom of the nightstand.