When I'm sixty-four

Right at this very moment Nick and I are inventing and arranging our wedding music. I'm surprised at how much I've enjoyed planning this event with him and how much it will actually reflect our personalities. Although I am extremely excited and ecstatic, there is some amount of sadness surrounding the event.

A few weeks back my grandfather fell seriously ill and has been in and out of the hospital in an effort to prolong his inevitable death. My family, especially my grandma who has been married to him for 62 years, is having difficulty accepting this terrible loss.

My grandparents were not going to be able to attend my wedding because of my grandpa's health, and the distance that separates us. Yet even without their presence, this wedding has turned into a much needed family bonding event. In the most painful and tender moments I have realized how important my family is and how the smallest thing, like a new baby, or a niece who calls herself ZoePrincessPonytailChavez have healing power like a mysterious salve.

I'm starting my own family now, and I have never been so aware of what that means and the potential power it possesses. We are both losing our grandparents -- together. We are having a baby -- together. We are moving and getting new jobs -- together. Two individuals with separate goals and ideas are merging to create an intermingled, shared life with subtleties that are often intangible and indescribable.

It's exactly what I want it to be and more.