Yuppie Smack

I'm at the crossroads between exhaustion and fatigue where I either need to lay down and sleep for a month, or, have another coffee and keep chugging away. I have another chapter of homework to do tonight and honestly, I'd really like to watch the OC even though I cancelled cable because seriously, fuck Comcast, I have rabbit ears and good people with TiVo.

Here's the thing though, my colon has laid down the law against the small amounts of caffeine I'm imbibing daily. (What I consider small is 1-4 cups of coffee per day this week) I've got coffee-ache again and it's quickly becoming intolerable. Could switch back to Red Bull again (although that feels like I'm abusing my body even more), or, I could somehow, try to function on tea (bleh) and see how that works.

I tried that today though. Didn't do anything, least of all help my stomach. Had me some black tea, had me a soda, had lots and lots of water to flush out the delicate system. Finally broke down this afternoon when my boss offered me some coffee. This is the first time today I feel alert and happy. I'm a full blown addict and I love my yuppie smack.

So I swig and swig and the stomach cramps more. I wake up and my first thought, immediately, is "Turn on the coffee maker. You can do it. Just twenty steps to blissful caffeine."

Awful.

It's yuppie smack, this caffeine stuff. I am considering brewing a pot when I get home so that I can do my homework until I fall into bed exhausted.

Except, duh, it's caffeinated so I'll have a stomachache _and_ I'll be wide awake.

Dumbass.

Dirt

I came into work early today - our early patient hasn't shown up yet.

I did find an envelope in our outgoing mail though. A single envelope with the word "Dirt" hastily scrawled on it. Naturally I looked inside of it, and I found a dustbunny inside.

I think Trb picked it up near the computer server and later today I will be getting some weird lecture about "Dirt".

I'm naturally very excited for this to commence.

The purple post-it peeler

Someone at work, though I'd never venture to guess who, constantly peels off the back of my Post-It(tm) pads so that the entire pad of paper sticks to my desk all the time and gets dusty and dirty.

I really dislike it.

Grrr.

I realize this makes me ridiculously dorky,

but I *love* having a coffee maker!

put the coffee and water in at night.

flip switch in morning.

drink coffee.

yum!

Dear Body,

I apologize for the tremendous amount of weight you are bearing today. I had to bring my laptop and the GiantAccountingBook(tm) with me so that I can continue to work on my huge case and get an A and complete my cash budget.

This is important to me.

I'm sorry. I know it hurts, trust me.

The muscles in the small of my back are silently screaming, while my upper back burns, protesting my large load.

I get it, alright. Stop your bitching already, because we still have four weeks to go.

And then it starts all over. For about six to eight more months, actually. Suck it up.

Or buy a new bag.

***

WANTED: A BLACK (OR BROWN) LEATHER MESSENGER LAPTOP BAG

On to bags, I can't find the one I needs. I am looking for a leather messenger laptop bag with a cushy strap that's durable enough to maintain itself through Jocelyn style wear-and-tear. Think rugged. Must have a _huge_ plastic gut for carrying messy Jocelyn lunches that spill sometimes, and
have a cellphone and Nalgene water bottle container, preferrable not next to each other. In fact, the Nalgene container needs to be outside so I can drink my water as I walk.

It absolutely must be adjustable since the one I carry now is way too tall for me and is causing me all sorts of frightening back problems. It needs to fit snugly - damnit to hell if I get a little sweaty.

I am willing to pay upwards of $139 for this bag. (Truth be told, I'd pay a little more)

If you see it, buy it for me. Otherwise I'm gonna have to patent the damn thing.

I am drowning

but I will resurface in 4 - 12 weeks after I'm done with these accounting classes and have some time to breathe.

Faithfully treading water and hoping for an A minus,

me

3:19am

At this very moment:

Maren and I are fighting over posession of the toilet. An intense battle - one of wit, merit, and valor.

Who gets to purge into the toilet? Who is banished to do such unsightly deeds in the bathtub next door?

Only time will tell.

It's 9:55am

and I'm already almost out of lunchtime snacks to eat.

All I have left is a gross Lean Cuisine because I did not take the time to pack my lunch last night while Maren was over.

We did not paint our toes either because I think we forgot while catching up and watching the OC.

To that bitch Charlotte on the OC

not to be confused with that dive angel from Iowa who attends Dartmouth.

Seriously, if someone ever used alcohol like that against me, I wouldn't tolerate it


No fucking way.

Stupid alcoholic bitch.

(Spoken after two glasses of wine.)

Katrina

Kerry sent me this awesome photo of Katrina while she was on the way:

When I was in Vegas -

Someone else had to do my job.

She has a name.

On a good day it rhymes with Mana. On a bad day it rhymes with pinky.

Today is a bad day because I'm finding out that my job was done wrong even though this person has had a lot of training in what I tend to think of as a very simple job function, _and_ there are accurate support documents that can be referred to when questions arise.

PinkyMana did not look at these documents which is evident in today's billing cycle.

Grrr.

In other news, my accounting class is teaching me all about budgets and I'm pretty sure office runs without one. How ludicrous is that? I'm going to implement that as well.

A letter ... and a request for paraphernalia

This comes from a friend of mine who's about to take a journey. Names and countries (ahem) are left out to protect the individuals in question ...

***

Hey!

I have a favor to ask: Can I request a few things for
you to bring with you? Any or all of them
would be nice, it's just stuff I can't get around
here. And I will of course reimburse you.

They are:
1) A box of Trojan ultra-thin condoms without
monoxnyl-9 (I'll give you the full scoop later)
2) A big bag of Skittles
3) A glass pipe, like the small one I used to have
- it should be unused and put into your
luggage, and there should be no problem

Cheers,

****

So yeah.

That's what this person wants.

Seriously?

He can't get condoms? How weird is that?

I think, as a gesture of goodwill, my friend should definitely bring the condoms and the skittles, but screw the pipe.

That's what I think.

The Financial Buddy

So Maria and I were talking last week about how single people need a way to keep their finances in check. Someone whom you trust, whom you can honestly discuss your debts with, and someone whom you'll listen to when you are about to make a poor financial decision.

We decided that single people need a financial buddy, so that when you are poor, and you want to go out to dinner or lunch or something, you can say, "Hey, I'm poor, but I want to do this. Can you be my buddy and cover me?"

And it's an understood thing that you and your buddy keep tabs on each other's finances and sort of are responsible for making sure the other one doesn't incur more debt and you help each other reach your mutual financial goals.

So far, it's really cool.

I have two financial buddies.

They are helping me:

grocery shop
bring my lunch to work nearly every day
not eat out as much
budget properly
work toward bigger financial goals

It's cool.

Everyone should have one.

For my own part, I have talked my financial buddies out of:

going river rafting for $130
eating out so much
partying and wasting money
going out drinking on weekends


I'm proud and happy to be a part of such a good buddy system.

Maren Date!

Thursday Night.

The OC. Drinks. Toe-painting.

Cannot Wait.

******

Also, shout out to Charlotte from Iowa. Girl - you sound cool. I cannot wait to meet you next time I'm in Hawaii.

Ooh ooh ooh!

Keith Urban is so great in that twangy romantic super sappy way.

I love him.

Thanks for making my drive home better, Jen.

I want my sister back

but I don't know how to get her.

And it breaks my heart every day.

We had about 5 good years between us. That's not enough.

I wish I could find a way to fix it ... but sometimes you just don't know where you can forget or what you can forgive or where those lines get blurry.

But I miss her.

And I'm sad that on Just-Another-Day(tm) she'll be more concerned about Someone Else than me.

Ughty, I love you. I wish you knew what was going on in my head and me yours. I wish we would still plan on getting pregnant and then walking the marathon together. I miss those dreams with you, but we are lost.

Accounting

Well, here's the thing.

I have this amazing teacher who's name I won't post on the internet because I love him that much. (But oh how I want to because I love him that much!!)

And, I'm a huge accounting geek. I love it.

I hate the hours and hours of homework, but I love the concepts and the things you can do with it. Ratios, comparative anaylsis, variable and fixed expenses, break-even points, it's awesome.

The homework blows though, when it's not cooperating and I'm not rocking it.

So yeah, it's kind of like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, you just don't know if you love it or hate it.

Ugh.

Is it time for the OC yet?

Compassion

I was told today to give compassion to someone whom I believe hates me.

Someone who has been defaming my name (without even using it, funny that) out of pain. And this was what my friend said to me, in a nutshell:

That pain makes people behave in ways they wouldn't otherwise.
That there needs to be more compassion and empathy in this world.
That outsiders rarely make it a point to look beyond their immediate hemisphere because that takes work, so they trust what people tell them and take it at face value - that's unfortunate, but true.

That I'm happier than I've been in years and my life is good, so get over it. Not everyone has what I do.

That if Jesus could do it, so can I.

Okay, the last part wasn't actually said to me, and I'm not even religious, but I figure there are worse role models to choose these days than Jesus.

Bottom line is I'm gonna try.

Sue-Baa-Roo

I love you.

320 miles to the tank and still 1/4 left to go!

Yay!

Thank you!

Not in that order.

Camping was a marvelous success.

I am ...

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth. While you may not be a total hippie... You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around. You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure. However, you do put some thought behind all your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Kirk Vs. Orin

Kirk was almost named Orin - because he's aqua, and everyone knows that Orin is Aquaman's real name. And how cool would it be to name your car after a super hero?

But then I got to thinking ... I've already had _two_ gay cars. And aquaman is a merman. Kirk is a ski car. Both are forms of water, but one is more up Maren's alley than mine. (Seriously, you should see the rubber mats in this car, they are like two inches thick!)

Then, there's the reference of Captain Kirk, and we all know that despite my best intentions to hide it, I'm a dork. Captain Kirk was the best womanizer out there. Picard was a better Captain, but I'm not naming the car Jean Luc - it's not even up for debate here. So that's a nice touch too.

I figure this car is so sexy that he can bag the babes even if he is light blue.

Go Kirk. I officially dub thee Kirk Echols.

Kirkechols is very fun to say fast.

Dear So and So,

I almost posted a very nasty note on my blog yesterday which I feel bad about.

It was the wrong thing to do.

Every one of my meaner and most base qualities was illustrated in that letter and I apologize for even threatening to put it up here.

However, when it comes to friendship, there are certain things I feel very strongly about. One of them is that when someone says something snarky about your friends, behind their back, you defend them - no matter who it is, no matter what the context.

As Kerry put it, "You go to the mat for your friends."

You have to.

And this person, who I almost defiled on the internet (again, VeryBadThing(tm)) has repeatedly not gone to the mat for me, which by no means excuses my awful behavior yesterday.

So yeah, we aren't friends anymore, and I'm more tarnished and worse for the wear for the things I said and thought and wanted to do.

Ah well.

There's always Kirk the new ski car!

:)

Happy Birthday Kirk!

Kirk's birthday was yesterday and he's beautiful.

Take a peek.

:)

Happy Birthday Kirk!

He's a Subaru Outback Sport SE.