The ways people own us.

Have you ever noticed that when you care about someone, like really care about someone, they claim part of you in such a way that they will always own it, no matter what happens in that relationship?

For instance, I was talking with Maren on the phone the other day about this spider that lived in my shower when I lived in Santa Cruz. A daddy long legs that I grew remarkably attached to. Even though Adam disliked spiders, he refused to kill it, because ultimately the spider left us alone and chilled way at the top of the shower and made me happy to see every day.

(I know, I'm gross, I like spiders so get over it already)

Anyway, this was seriously like a four month ordeal for me. I checked for this spider every day - and one day Adam thought he accidentally killed her. I was devastated.

I forgot all about this entire situation until Maren reminded me - this is one of the ways that I will claim her forever - I've changed the way she thinks about spiders.

But more importantly, it reminded me of a little ritual that Adam and I used to have where we would leave each other little messages in floss on the shower wall to each other.

I don't know who started it really, probably me, but after we'd floss our teeth, one of us would always leave some kind of a note to the other one with the floss, after it was rinsed off, of course.

It probably sounds weird and gross to you guys, but I don't really care - it was precious. Today I realized that no matter what, Adam owns that part of me.

And I like it.

I like that I've loved people enough that they can claim me in little ways - because I think that's important, although I find it difficult to be that open. Incidentally, Adam recently told me I need to be more open to love.