This is EXTREMELY naughty of me,

But Evan gave me the okay.

I'm not posting this as a hyperlink because I'm too much of a pussy, but if you want to visit Matt and Jen, cut and paste the following:

http://ma.tthew-cox.us/gallery/

there you go.

More about my great date with Evan later.

Is it weird

That Evan's ex-girlfriend sent us a bottle of wine from South Africa to "celebrate" our engagement?

This coming from the same person who sent us an e-card that said:

Wearing an engagement ring means you are taken,
Mussed up hair and steamy windows means you were taken in the back of a car.

And while I would have sex with Evan in a car (in a plane, on a train, on a boat, in a moat) this does not adequately express our relationship, especially coming from someone who has never even SEEN us together. He's talked on the phone to her maybe six times in the past two years. I used to be her friend, but that was before.

Before she dumped him (stupid, stupid, stupid!) for some guy she now lives with. Matt. I will post a link to his website later if I can. Matt and Jen are not engaged, but they do subscribe to Martha Stewart's Living and some foo-foo wine magazine. They also host dinner parties.

It is weird, right?

Burp ...

That's not a belch ... it's more a noise to express my disdain for being back at work.

Surprisingly, I don't even have that much to do. I mean, since my normal pace of work is lightening speed, I got to spend most of my day posting on KN as usual. That's not too shabby.

Of course, i could be doing that from home using vacation time.

Currently, a big idiot is in my office, and no, her name is not Stinky. Stinky and I are politely avoiding one another because we both just got back from vacation, and how can you hate someone you haven't seen in two or three weeks?

The big idiot is a patient. She's the most irresponsible and annoying person I know. She'll want to talk to me when she's done too ... I know it.

I will be clever and pretend to be very busy so as to avoid her mundane conversation.

Evan's back is very bad today. We are supposed to go to $2 baseball on Wednesday. I hope he is up for it ... I haven't had a ballpark hotdog and fries in a long time. (Yeah, you caught me, going to see the A's for food)

Hopefully we'll have some fun this weekend getting our apartment together - finally.

And maybe a BBQ at the beach or something. SF, SC, who knows.

I'm still pissed at Sam even though I hate to admit it. Oh well, it takes six weeks to break a habit. I should be done soon.

Okay Okay, No More Posts ...

But for this one.

Here's my horoscope:

Somebody here had the right thing for breakfast. You don't know how else to explain all the energy, optimism and what you could even call friskiness. Discard stale issues. Close old accounts. Start new exchanges. Your friends just have to come out to play, and you won't take no for an answer. Lovers feel the enchantment and visceral lure of what brought them together in the first place. You're ready to experiment with a new sport, although you might have trouble keeping your mind on the game. There's so much to experience and so little time.

That is exactly how I feel and I don't even believe that kind of stuff. I'm going to snack and watch Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

No more posts, I swear.

SpongeBob SquarePants

If anyone buys it for me i would love to see the movie, or the DVD's. I love SpongeBob and I'm not afraid to say it.

Vacation.

I don't know what's with me, but much like a Jimmy Buffet song, I don't feel very in touch with reality lately. I'm giddy from being on vacation. I'm high because I don't have to work with Stinky-Bitch-Ass-Motherfucker (sorry, i'm trying to cut down on the swearing liz, but being away from her only makes me realize how much i dislike her). I'm happy because for the first time in months I am rested and happy. It's amazing. Now that I'm caught up on sleep though, I have a question:

Why are you people not in love with Matt Nathanson?

Even Maren is in love with him. Hot. Singer. Yum. Smart. Delicious. Guitar.

How are you not in love with him and why don't you want to come to see him and Howie Day and Guster and OAR at the Greek Theater in Berkeley? It will be lovely and amazing. We will have beer and snacks, I promise.

Please?

P.S.

You and half-man are one and the same.

Sam -

Why do you do this?

And furthermore, why do I always accept your apology? That's crap.

If you were anyone else, I'd not accept this.

So many things where your opinion matters to me and yet - you can't even muster that.

Okay, lazy bastard. But this time I am really pissed. I haven't talked to you during some of the biggest moments of my life and I'm really resentful.

-J

My Family:

I can't even begin to get into it in one post, but since my family is so amazingly dysfunctional and beautiful, here's the brief synopsis:

Sandy - Mom:
Exuberant. Funny. Witty. Smart. Sexy-cookie-of-a-woman-who's-probably-smarter-than-you-buddy. Fell in love with Spanish hearthrob named Juan. Devastatingly sexy, but horribly chauvanistic. Had their baby but was never married. Had her heart broken by Jack and never fully recovered. Recently filed for bankruptcy.

Jack - Dad:
Stubborn. More stubborn than a bull is about having you lop off it's balls. Genius. Manic-depressive. Critical. Stupid. Amazing. Destructive. Sad. Old. Fat.

Sandra/Ughty (utt-tee) - Sister:
Quiet and Beautiful. Regal. Afraid. Vulnerable. Alone. Frightened.

Jeremy/Brody - Brother:
Earliest memory is of jumping on his face after I made him lay down under a jumper trampoline thing. I was a bitch to him when we were little. Damn ... sorry for that bro. Genius. Dork. Protective and Sweet. Sci-Fi. Hagen Daas - Coffee Flavor. Tales from the Crypt.

That's about all I can say right now.

But, I really love Tony Bennett's "I left my heart in San Francicsco".

Chick Flicks

But for my good friend, Ericka, I would hardly see any. Usually I dread them because of horrible movies with Julia Styles, but this weekend we saw, Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan. And it was really cute - I mostly enjoyed it. Plus the last two times we saw movies with Nick and Ericka they were my top choice.

It's fun to go to the movies with Nick and Ericka because they always share their snacks.

Bah

This is for Ericka really because I'm too tired to write anything worthy or smart sounding at all.

The wedding was picturesque and everyone had a wonderful time (to my knowledge). We partied until about 3am or so. Everyone who was there still feels exhausted - I think we all should have taken today off work.

I also think I might be getting sick because my throat hurts .. but maybe that's just residual partying hangover?

All the bridesmaids looked absolutely beautiful. I was truly impressed with all the hotties there. Oh yeah, and the guys looked good too.

We get to do it all over (but differently) in 6 weeks. And even if Sarah is making me her bitch that weekend, I'm still glad that all I have to do is buy a present and show up. Nice and relaxing. :)

The Dress

It's my sister's fault, really, she's really making me see the enormity of getting married - but in a good way.

I wanted a simple, understated dress, not one that screamed, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!" I even sent one back because it looked that way. Then, my sister came in with this dress that look so-so on the hanger. I agreed to try it on because so far the sales lady wasn't coming up with anything great. But the sales lady, who was actually listening to my polite requests about simple clean lines, didn't have me try it on. She left to go downstairs (where the more expensive dresses live) and my sister got me into it. It has a corset back and a slight A-line skirt. That's about all I can remember now, except that I loved the way it felt on! It was snug, but not tight. I felt like I could do jumping jacks in it and eat a doubledouble animal style afterwards!

My sister saw me in it and then gave me her headpiece, which, yes, I was also opposed to wearing. Hers is very teeny and cute, like a headband for a renaissance princess or something. Which, as it turns out is exactly what I look like in my dress! She got teary and exclaimed, "You're Getting Married!!" And then it hit me. It really, really hit me: I'm getting married.

And it made me so happy.

And I do look like a renaissance princess!

Eating My Crow

And boy does it taste good!

I always swore I wouldn't be one of those foofy girls who gets all emotional and crazy about her wedding - you know the kind who cry when they try on their wedding dress?

Oops. Guess I shouldn't have got teary then, eh?

Guess I am just a sorry sap like everyone else.

The Zombie Dream

So it's Halloween, of course, since this is ALWAYS when the zombies come out, except this time I am the zombie.

And Evan's a zombie, and so is his brother Brett. Someone else was with us too, but I think I didn't recognize him/her because they were dressed like the killer from Scream. (Toward the end of this post I realized the mysterious person was my sister)

We are driving from San Francisco (I think) to San Jose. Turns out that Halloween is the one and only night that zombies are mortal. We don't really like that we are zombies, and we certainly don't eat human flesh or brains for dinner. In fact, none of us has any clue as to how (or when) we became zombies.

All we know is that the freeways are very crowded and EVERYONE is looking for zombies to kill. We were very scared even though I'm doubtful they could tell we were zombies: we looked the same except dressed up for Halloween instead of in normal clothes. It's possible we were giving off a foul smell though .. Like ether mixed with sulfur, but I'm not positive on that.

We are driving in the biggest, most bad ass SUV I have ever seen, complete with tinted windows (not so good for driving at night) and bullet proof armor.

It is so big that I am sitting on the floor with Evan between the driver (Brett) and the other member of our party. Traffic is horrible - we are very afraid, but also very hungry. I want to stop at Denny's or something to get some food, but I am concerned that we might get killed there. We all agree that we will be safer in San Jose, so we head there.

We start picking up random hitchhikers. We get some biker guys who really scare me but they are very cool, even after they realize we are zombies. We end up filling the SUV. I think maybe we figure that we'll be harder to target if there are a bunch of humans with us.

We get very worried about driving in such bad traffic, so I suggest taking Highway 1 down through Big Sur and Santa Cruz to get to San Jose. It's a truly brilliant plan and we finally start hauling ass instead of driving 5mph. Turns out my sister wasn't actually a zombie (who knew?) but that she was willing to help us anyway.

Then I woke up more disoriented and confused than I have felt in a long time. I think I need some coffee.

Grumpy Mumpy

Man.

I got an A- on something in school that I worked my ass off on. In fact, I've been devoting so much time to it that I've been neglecting my other class and now I am worried I might face two A minuses.

I know many of you (nick rozema) might think I am a whiney baby for this, but I am pissed. It's rare for me to put that much effort into something and not have it pay off big. (yes, now I am arrogant too) I take additional responsibility because I was the group leader, and honestly, given my group's raw potential, we definitely exceeded my standards. In fact, I thought they did an excellent job once they had direction and leadership.

I am very sad and for a minute it actually made me doubt my leadership ability, except then I remembered where this group started from and I felt a little better.

Sad Sad Friends ...

Have you ever noticed some of your friends seem to have a crappy run of luck, all the time?

Usually, this is my friend Liz, to whom no one else can ever compare their worst day, but lately I've noticed it's branching out.

It makes me wonder: Why do some people get all the lucky breaks while the others get the slip-n-falls??

In my own life it's fairly balanced, although usually I'm on the lucky side of the wishbone. I have a bad day here and there, but it's generally because of something *I* did or something my family did.

But these poor saps, they are good people, who go out of their way not to hurt others.

So why do they continually get shat on?

Chronicles of Riddick

I'm such a cheesy action-fantasy-comic book-horror-sci fi movie whore that it's ridiculous.

I can't believe I am even entertaining the vaguest notion of watching The Chronicles of Riddick, and yet, I'm hopelessly intrigued.

I don't know if this is story has a history or not ... it seems like it's been adapted from a sci-fi book series or something, but I'm not sure.

It also seems like this is the second film, but I don't know anything about that. Was this an early role for Vin Diesel? I don't even like Vin Diesel, even though Ericka thinks he's sexy, he just doesn't do it for me.

I just hope Evan will take me to see it because it looks like a whole lotta fun!

Puhleaase??

:)

Attack of the Birds

Take Two.

This is so funny.

Remember last week when my friend Liz got attacked by a pigeon at BART? Well, It happened again!!

This time though, it was a blackbird that attacked the back of her head in an effort to nest in her tresses. But the funny thing (or the uncanny thing) is that it was at the same exact BART station as before. The Powell BART station as you are walking down the stairs on Market St. Weird.

Then she had to go home and demand that her roomie move the poster of The Birds because she thinks it somehow has cursed her.

I tend to agree.

More next week when the bird lady gets attacked again. Hah.

5 Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans ....

and my morning is looking up already. Imagine that.


Liz: You don't hear that much about Bush Sr., anymore, do you?

Joc: Nah, what for?

Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone can tell me how much caffeine one of those beans has in it? I looked here but it doesn't even list espresso beans. WTF?

Man, my damn bra hook is broken and somehow I got dressed without even noticing. What is wrong with me?. Now I either have to move it to a tighter hook, which doesn't feel good, or I have to hope that one hook can hold the boobies in for the next 13 hours. ha ha.

Web Based Research

I think I sort of suck at this. I'm not sure why, but it takes me longer than most people to find appropriate research.

Right now I am looking for support from Independent Film Studios regarding free movie downloading.

I've found a few things, but not really enough to support a full on negotiation between Hollywood and the Indies. (Unless it's distributive negotiation which in my mind is not negotiation at all ... )

If you can help me and post some links that will make me sound smart, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

My first happy night

Tonight I stayed in. I'm going to bed about the same time as every other night, but I don't have to wake up until 9am or so. Beauty.

Here is a list of items I need very much:

A haircut
Some highlights
mani-pedi
bikini wax
facial
eyebrow plucking/waxing
a good workout
rest
new clothes
sexy, strappy black sandals
an eye exam

I think that's it for now. I'm getting to the point where I am willing to pay someone to take care of these things, just to save me the time of doing it myself.

I think on my vacation coming up I might actually treat myself to some daytime yoga classes and a massage and a facial.

Neat.

Holy Crap I'm a Genius

Today is a good day because I spent at least three working hours editing, writing, revising, and organizing my group's marketing project.

I am the leader of this group which works out well for me (even though it's a lot more work) because I wanted to see if I was good at managing people since that's what I think I want to pursue.

Turns out, somehow, I'm very good at asking people to re-think things and to challenge themselves, at least in a business way. I'm not very good at my personal life because I don't sugarcoat for friends. But with this group of extremely disorganized, exceedingly annoying people, things are running very smoothly.

We are going to rock this presentation!!!

Wahoo.

Sometimes I forget

That Ericka has access to my blog.

And then she posts.

And it scares me because I always wonder who the hell is invading my private space. Hah.

Here's a funny story though:

My friend Liz (work friend) got attacked by a Pigeon yesterday. It flew into her hair and grabbed on to her delicate chestnut strands. Then it flew away and she went home to find that her room mate had received a mongo poster of Hitchcock's The Birds. She was freaked. hahaah.

Again?

I'm sick again. The right side of my face has a cold. I think it's possible that I get sick more often than anyone I know. what is wrong with my immune system?

Seriously.

I am so tired today.

I slept in a little bit (which means instead of getting up at 5:30 I woke up just after 6:00) and I still feel groggy and sleepy. I bet if there was a warm body next to me (preferably my honey's) I could conk out into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

The good news is that today is my last day working with Stinky for 10 days. Yay. So even if I am too tired to be uber productive there's nothing she can do about it.

Not like I am uber productive lately.

I have 2 finals, 2 papers, and 1 major presentation to do within the next 14 days. Sheesh. And some other minor irritating-like-a-hemorrhoid work that needs to be finished.

No amount of money or caffeine can stimulate me today. I might need to get an espresso or something.

My Epiphany

Sometime last week, amid a torrent of dreams so frenetic and violent I only remember fractions of each one, I had a relatively pleasurable dream that gave me insight - into myself.

In my dream, Evan, Josh Homan, and I were training on a team to run 1100 miles over the course of several weeks, and as such we were training really hard. Josh was giving me pointers on how to maximize my endurance, what shoes to wear, and what stretches would work best for my muscles. I had to train hard every single weekend and I never had any time for myself or my friends, which made me extremely resentful of my training.

Yet even while I harbored this resentment, I pushed myself to do better. To run faster, to breathe harder, to excel. And a huge part of me loved my training, despite the fact I couldn't sip wine on the porch with Ericka and had to be in bed every night by 9:00. I was thrilled with my personal success and my determination to achieve my goal.

Then something happened. I awoke with an understanding I'd never had.

For whatever reason I will never be satisfied without pushing my limits; I will always seek a challenge, a new personal best. Along the way I will falter and complain because the reward does not come quickly enough.

The awareness this dream provided was helpful in that it gave me freedom of self. *I'm* the one who pursues these conquests, and *I'm* the one who should be proud of my achievements, yet instead my vision is clouded by my next undertaking.

It's time I embraced that facet of myself. My nature is such that I am restless and always seeking a new passion, however I must remember to pause, and recognize my hard work and ambition instead of feeling continually compelled to do more.

I need to work on savoring the moment.

I'm just going to continue Ericka's post

from her blog.

Stinky just showed up at work ... jeez man, it's too early for this.

Here are a few more highlights:

Naked sorority chicks in my bed - we aren't actually sorority chicks, and more importantly there was no making out - ericka was too tired.

Rebecca's Groove - Or as I should say, GROOVE with the many different men of different bars. When I say GROOVE, what I really mean, is serious groove. It would be wrong to elaborate, but trust me when I say groove.

Hotel room upgrade - It's true. With a little help from my current negotiation class, I managed to get us moved into a phat suite at the Courtyard Marriott at Fisherman's Wharf. Hot, phat, and awesome. It had a full on dining room table. That's where Stephen comes in. He may have liked me a little bit, but I think that's debatable since I was greasy and wearing french braids like a ten year old.

Gordy - our scary/funny bus driver on the cattle tour from hell. They called it (and advertised it) as a wine tour, but really it was more like a long bus ride with a couple sips of wine here and there.

Group love - or more importantly, group TOGETHERNESS. For some reason our group spent the whole time being together, even when it was very clear that people wanted different things. I'm not sure why that is, but as long as everyone was happy I don't really care. I just thought it was kind of odd. Not so much like acquiescence as resignation.

Andrew - he's my Jewish boyfriend who eats pork and shares with lovely ladies in cute dresses, aka ME! After lunch, he offered me some of his special label pork, and then, in case I was wondering what he meant by that, he clarified for me that yes, he meant it sexually. I should have known when his witty banter kept focusing on porno movies and Penthouse letters. Charming at first, he ended up being the lap dog I have never wanted... the lap dog that wanted to hump my leg.

Camping - this is what the men folk did all weekend. I'm sure they had fun. I already saw the pictures. They were mellow and they took Yolanda everywhere with them. We left Bert at home. (Bert and Yolanda are inflatable sex dolls) Yolanda got to swim, fire the potato gun, eat some beans, cook some meat, do a keg stand, play woofleball, and pee in the water with the boys. She had a great time, while Bert stayed inside our fat suite at the Marriott only to be deflated and taken home.

Poor, poor, Bert.