Glass and a Half In ..

That's what Jennifer said.

And It's true really, except I'm really more at the 3/4 of a glass stage.

I had my dress fitted today ... now it is much more tight in the chest area and I'm not so sure I like it as much.

Ericka is doing a tai-bo squat, and it looks really funny, but she has a hot ass.

I hope Sarah gets me the pot.

Can't Stop Eating

Jeezo.

I've been awake since about 7:15. So far today I have eaten the following items:

1. Oatmeal - 1 packet of Instant Quaker
2. Bagel & Cream Cheese - only 1/2 of a bagel, but still, I gobbled it down.
3. String Cheese - 1 piece
4. Hard Boiled Egg - Ate it all

And, it's only noon and I am still starving.

What should I eat next?

I have a peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich for lunch that I am looking forward too, but I fear it will not satiate me.

Manic Wednesday

I have two other very worthy posts to put up here, but as they involve real writing I don't really feel like doing it right now.

Today I am in love with school again. How weird is that? I can quote myself earlier as saying that I hated it, that it was horrible, and that I had to attend "the stupid ass monkey class that I hate" tonight.

Wow. Such big words from such a little girl.

I didn't work out today. Instead I focused on getting some pretty serious work done on my project for my marketing class. Sometimes I feel like I *am* the only one who is focused in the whole group. It's annoying, but if I can get them to figure stuff out and get their shit done I won't mind.

And then in class tonight I got to negotiate against Betty O-Ren. She was a formidable opponent, but I won. She wouldn't budge on anything, but then I did some fast talking and got her to accept my deal. It was cool, and challenging. And overall the whole class was good, and Nathan was his usual funny self, charming me with his acerbic wit that it seems no one else gets.

Now I get to go to bed and think about how tomorrow I only have to spend five hours with my stinky co-worker! Then the week is over, and the partying begins.

Well, it doesn't actually begin until Friday, but since I will be with Nick and Ericka tomorrow night that's just as good.

Sam is alive, just unresponsive as usual. He took my survey, but I don't think he's been here in a while. I'd like to tell him the news of my engagement, even though I'm pretty sure he's too jaded by marriage to really support anyone doing it .... but still ... I'd like to share my big moment with him.

My two other posts will involve my epiphany in a recent dream, as well as thoughts about my dead twin.

The Bright Clouds

The people who understand me ...

well, they really get why, in the springtime, i can't sleep because the energy of the sky is different. And, the clouds, are brighter, by way of street light or sun, or perception, it doesn't really matter.

All that matters is that it *is* more difficult to sleep because the sky is begging me to be awake. To be aware. To write and play frolick like I should and used to.

But now I am too old, with too serious a job. Now, I just miss the old things, that honestly, Evan doesn't even understand.

I'd say he's about 3 out of 5 fingers when it comes to understanding me. He thinks it's 4 out of 5, but honestly, is understanding always what it seems?

Chase understood me. Steve too. But, that just plain didn't work out .. maybe for the understanding.

xoxoxox

I'm Engaged!!!

And it's very weird.

And I didn't wear the red dress. I wore a cute black one that's totally New York City.

Evan's had the ring since JANUARY!!!.

Yeah, so nothing happened at dinner. Nothing happened on the walk. Then, we get in the car, and a few miles in to the drive, I tell him that I thought he was going to propose .. He says, "Well, I love you anyway."

Wow. I sort of feel like I want to stay up all night, make love, and throw up at the same time.

Weird. This is a first for me.

I wish Sam would email me.

Wow. I wish my mom would pick up the phone!!!! Damn!!

Romantical Dinner Tonight!!

Wahoo! Tonight is my fake birthday night, and my real birthday celebration.

I never got a real birthday since we moved, even though my super awesome friends not only helped me move all day, but still decorated my house and gave me the best Harry Potter birthday party ever, complete with presents!

And that was fun, but I was a little too tired to really appreciate their efforts.

And my sweetie still hadn't done anything for me. So tonight we are going out to a romantical dinner. I thought I knew where he was taking me until this morning he said we might want to "take a walk" afterwards and that it might be cold. I think he's itching for some sex in public, which is weird because that's usually my thing.

Still .. it's going to be dreamy and fun. I might even bust out the red dress. I love the red dress.

Leaky Bowels

We've been having this conversation on knownick where the boys say that not only is it a somewhat common phenomenon, but that they actually take pride in trying to hold their poo in as long as they can.

I don't get it. What's the effing point? I mean, it's not like it goes away - eventually it's got to come out. That's the main idea behind eliminating waste.

It's kind of freaky too because they are even going to such lengths as to call themselves a half man, half god if they can hold it.

"It's like a Hercules thing...farting, and risking that, basically proves you're half man, half god. However, when the poo does peek out a little, you should be similarly commended as a heroic warrior. You know...like a Klingon.


While he's very funny, I maintain that it is childish and gross.

And even though I am holding in my poo with all the power of my little sphincter as I type this, there is no chance that I will ever poo my pants, except in childbirth and while dying.

Nasty boys.

Sam's Gone Again ...

For those of you who care about my not-so-secret-stalker from Florida.

He's probably enjoying orange juice and manatees. They are his favorite.

You know what was really, really fun? Like, top ten best times in my whole life? My trip to Austria last year. It was so perfect and beautiful and lately I've been thinking about it a lot lately. It's my place I go when my stinky co-worker gets on my nerves. (she won't leave today - i mean seriously - leave already!!!)

But yeah ... that trip was right before I started school, and incidentally right before my life got too crazy to relax. It was the last time I had a long period of time to just be me and not think about work or bills or school or any of that stuff that just ties you down.

I'm really glad I went because now I can have deep thoughts about it when stinky makes me mad.

Stinky left. yay. I finally have peace. Bye bye, Stinky, bye bye.

Survey

Hey people.

Will you kindly participate in a very short survey to help me conduct market research for a class of mine?

Thanks.

Please Click Here ...

P.S. If you got this in an email too, I apologize, but I'm trying to get oodles and gobs of data. Thanks!

Rough Time of It, I guess ...

I'm having a really hard time lately. I've been feeling so fatigued lately. It's intermittent, but persistent and happens enough to where it's become chronic.

I'm skipping school again tonight. I'm pretty sure there's no way I can get A's this term with my lack of energy and participation. So far everyone is being pretty cool about it, and really the bottom line is that I don't care because I'm putting my health ahead of my education. Might be stupid in the short term, but I think it will serve me best in the long term. I'm pretty sure that my teacher (also the Vice President of my school) kind of knows where I stand and isn't going to push me.

There's just too much going on.

And I'm constantly fighting this battle with myself to at least *try* to be nice to the patients who come here. But they bug the crap out of me. (One is chatting it up right now about how cars are evil and we should still travel by horse and buggy)

Anyway ... Back to work I guess.

I miss my friends. I'm tired. I'm glad to cut school. I can't wait for my break from school and work. Sheesus.

Slacker

I think I post here more than you do now.

what's the deal with nerdbucket? what's it about?

Fatist

A co-worker of mine asked me the other day if I was a fatist. I don't really know what to do with a question like that. I'm not sure I even totally understand what she means, so I answered that I resent people who live in denial about their issues and whine about them constantly.

The Interview Lady didn't call me ...

Oh well.

In other news, I am suffering from some kind of extreme fatigue to the point that everything I do is difficult.

I need a 20 hour nap.

And because I am so tired, I've become irritable with everything in between me and my bed. Stupid patients, (granted, there have been oodles and gobs of them this week) my stinky Co-worker who I can't stand, the phone ringing, etc.

I'm a big giant sleepy crabapple.

Say your prayers for me.

Opportunity Abounds

It's ironic that now that my future degree is starting to work for me I'm being the biggest slack ass bastard where school is concerned. Isn't it?

I'm doing everything last minute, putting in the bare minimum effort, and yet somehow, I'm doing fairly well (nothing major has been due yet) and, I keep getting interesting opportunities based, primarily, on the fact that I am getting an advanced degree.

I had an interview last week that I chose to cancel because I wasn't feeling very well and basically had no interest in the job itself.

This Friday I have a phone interview with a company that looks promising, but again, we'll see. This particular company is fairly new (est. 1999) and they are expanding rapidly. The phone interview is more to see if my future direction coincides with theirs, and I did get a referral from a good friend, but the point here is that 6 months ago, before I took on the overwhelming task of getting a dual master's, I didn't have these opportunities.

For better or for worse.

And that's what should make me even more motivated to do well in school, right?

But no ... It doesn't. I have something due tonight that I haven't even started - and it's not just something I can regurgitate. It really should have been planned out because I don't know how I can fake a "negotiation".

Oh well.

Hope you all are doing well.

Attention (un)Faithful Readers:

I'm pleased to announce that due to new management of this blog, there will be some changes in the voice of the author.

No longer will I keep my private life private. If you don't like it, you don't have to read.

I know that's harsh, and I apologize to my friends and family that might be offended while this blog is being published, however I can't really have a blog without honestly depicting my thoughts and feelings. I've been holding back since I started and as a result nothing real ever gets written.

So I apologize in advance and hope you all can love me despite my honesty - it's a pretty tragic flaw.

-Keepin' It Real

I'm here

So, I did finally get the flowers I deserved while I was sick... true, they were about a month late, but they came with tickets to London, so I can't really complain about that can I?

Van Helsing!!

woot woot.

it was super fun, and suspensful and i love monsters!!

it made evan and i jump several times (i even wonked my arm against the back of the arm rest and bruised it - sheeit) and it was cool visually.

kate beckinsale is hot, and so is jackman and the dude who played Dracula.

Very, very highly recommend it if you like sci-fi, horror, or comic book flicks.

Yay.

P.S. Will someone with a more biblical frame of reference explain to me about the "left hand of god" and Gabriel, the fallen archangel??

TLC is my secret pleasure

I've been watching "A Makeover Story", "Second Chances", and "A Wedding Story" all day long. We finally have regular cable again; I haven't had TLC in about 7 months. Pretty exciting stuff, actually.

It's all part of my not so secret plan to put off reading a very boring chapter on how to market new products. I have to give a speech/lecture/marketing pitch about this chapter on Tuesday, so I really should read it. And yet, I can't bring myself to.

A lingering headache from my cold is my excused to hide in my purple blankie cuddled on the couch while immersed in bad tv.

And, I'm dirty. :)

Massage

I get a massage tonight. Complete with acupressure and shiatzu. Yay! It's good too because I'm still waking up every night in pain in my back.

And I've been off caffiene for like two weeks - it's been good, although very difficult.

And I have a new nephew. Benjamin James reporting for duty at 8lbs, 9 oz. He looks pretty good too, all things considered.

holy bajeezuz!!

i'm finally back up and running again.

i'm such a lazy fucker that it took me 4 mos to email blogger and get the link to reset my password.

when really all i needed was to remember my user name.

i'm such a dumhead but still it feels good to be back.