This shit is literally weighing me down.

I don't actually expect you to read this whole thing, hell, *I* even started skimming the last few paragraphs.

Here's a letter from my sister, if this gives any indication at all of my current family situation.

Joe, Jocelyn, Evan, Jeremy, Karen, Sandy and Jack,

I am addressing this to all of you because Ashley was told by her grandmother that it was all "7 of us who love you so much and are going to take care of you, even if we go to jail, so come with me now sweet heart" as an attempt was made to take her away from Chris's house.

If you are no longer or were never part of the Defender of the Innocent Tag Team, then you either have not made that clear to its Founder, or have not yet made it clear to me. If you fall into either of those two categories, you are a coward for not speaking your truth to everyone involved. All of you, as told to Ashley by her grandmother, participated on one level or another in a situation that, though it may not be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning, is still very much alive in this household. Though you felt powerful and vindicated enough to make this mess, you have done nothing to clean it up. Worse yet, some of you are still sending letters with your observations and advice, though you have been told not to. One fool thinks she can mail a letter every other day and I will actually give it to Ashley. Nearly all of you talk about one of you behind her back and so far have not had the balls to to come clean. At this point, who is say whom is lying to whom. You felt it right to bring the truth as you saw it to my attention, however stopped short of leaving the truth as you say you now see it to her attention. Or, you are lying to me, as some have suggested, to keep the peace so I do not prevent you from seeing beloved Ashley. ( Apparently Zoe has little relevance in this family intervention crap. She can't understand the verbal abuse thrown at her, and still weighs too little to kick very far.)

Some of you have been pulling this crap for 10 1/2 years. Some of you have been observing it for that long, but out of your sense of loyalty won't admit to as much. On the side you eagerly whisper "oh if they ever did this with my kids or in my house I would.........." or "why do you think we moved so far away?".

I might add as an aside that Michael and I had picked a wedding date in October, but had wanted to only go through with it and announce it if the family was getting along. Yes, you can all breathe easier now. The dog kicking, child beating, emotional abusive man wants as far away from all of you as possible. Out of the pain you have directly caused him, he went to his family with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and you are no longer welcome in their house. Didn't like them anyway? Ah, good. You won't miss them then. Good thing Zoe is so young as to not have grabbed your heart yet. They don't want you anywhere near her. Wondering how she is doing while you were in private meetings or on the phone planning your intervention? Well, she is becoming non verbal and has lost the words she knew 3 months ago. While trying to put up with all your fucking bull shit and your loss for a rag to wipe it up with, I am also trying to teach her sign language, working with Ashley on her depression (oh wait, that's right. Founder Echols already convinced you all that she is not a depressed child, but a victim of her home environment) and trying to build back up a man who has been torn down (I'm not sure but it could be sexual abuse too, who is to say) and who has a history of not dealing well with being torn down, whose last words to me 10 hours ago were, "Fuck the Echols, I'm leaving to go have a beer." and hasn't been heard from since. If you don't understand the relevance of that statement, then you never knew enough about my family to have an opinion in the first place.

Ashley can not believe your behavior. She thinks her Grandma is crazy. She read the first paragraph of the letter sent to me today, and said, "That's it. I'm writing her a letter." She has told me word for word what she has told to each of you, and how you wound that around your little primitive brain and came out with an altered story is indicative of your intelligence level. If you had a concern for her, there were many avenues you could have pursued. You could asked her more questions, (had you been bright enough to ask the right ones) you could have asked me questions, you could have spent more time with her then the 2 weekends in the last 28 weekends that have gone by this year. Or, you could have listened to the other members of the family, who began months ago by telling you to butt out of it. One appropriate question could have been, "Hey Ash, do you have anxiety attacks for any other reasons, or just when Michael is abusing you?" or "Does your mom know about your attacks? You know she is on medication for her anxiety attacks that began when her step-dad was verbally and physically abusive to her mother. Anxiety might run in your family. Let's make a list of the different ways you might want to talk to your Mom and Michael about this." Oh no, your diary entry you helped her write with the names and numbers for an emergency with her little list of positive thoughts about herself was much more helpful. Why didn't you tell me you had a degree in child psychology? Think of all the thousands of dollars I could have saved by sending her to you instead. Gosh, I should have just looked at all of my siblings and myself and realized, duh...my parents are great at assessing childhood problems. Why all their children are stable!! Only two of the three need medication to get through a day. (Wait, are we counting pot as medication? That would make it all three.Oh no, but that is used only to relax, unwind, forget about this family, or to go spend an excess amount of time with them, especially on birthdays.) What a wealth of resources I have ignored all these years. (Never mind that some of you have never had children, never survived a successful marriage, or haven't made it there yet.)

You want me to keep all your secrets about who thinks what of whom? Who hates who's wife who already knows it because her sister(S) in law already told her husband. (oops, did I say that out loud. GASP!) Whoes boyfriend plays pretend with future mommy but really thinks she is full of shit and damn near brainwashing my child. (Oh crap, did that slip out?) Whose husband tells his son, month after month "you know your mother" but stands by her side in the mean time.

You can all keep playing your games. Stay away from me. Stay away from my one child ( I guess we won't count the little mute....if she is too young to know why you refused to come to her birthday party, she is probably too young to count for much at all.)

Enjoy participating in your relationships. As far as your "love is blind" mentality some of you referred to, maybe some of you should take off you god damned shades, stick them as far up your ass as you can, and look at your own lives. Your advice is the last thing I needed. I stand stronger alone than all of you who hold hands together, only to sanitize them later in the privacy of your own home. Who is cleaning up your shitty mess now? What do you think this did to Ashley? Nah, don't worry about it. I know you are all so busy and tired and consumed with your own lives. I'll keep on taking care of her while you sit back in judgement with your evaluation of my progress. Hey, if a child's unhappiness with life, be it all of it, or just the daily crap they encounter in their family, can lead to say.........deep depression and suicidal thoughts, well......that would knock two of you experts out of the running, wouldn't it?

Don't write, don't call. You have done enough damage. Take your good intentions, misguided efforts, gossip, and he said she said, petty, judgmental, spouse hating agenda(S) and focus on someone new. Hey, now that some of you have alienated others of us, you can focus on the only good spouse left.....Evan.(Beware though, he really knows how to kick and throw down umbrellas. Their future child might be in danger!!) I won't be around to protect my little niece or nephew, as I will be sharing a cell with Karen, who will eventually be arrested on poopy butt endangerment, article 10 of the Defenders of the Innocent clause.

Mom, everytime you attempt to communicate with Ashley, I am going to kick her and lock her in the closet. Well, if I am up to it. I might be napping, in which case I will wait for Michael to return in a drunken stupor to take out all his anger at you on her.