up to speed

why do so many major changes happen in the fall?

is it because humans have been systematically programmed through years of seasons changing (you know migrating to warmer climates back when we were nekkid and free), or trying to fatten up before times got really hard during the hunting season?

anyway, i start school next week. wow. i talked to my dad about it and all he could say was, "is that the best place you could be going?"

i mean come on. come on. will it ever be enough for that man? probably not until i outdo him tenfold and by then he will be dead so it will have been futile anyway.

one of my greatest friends ever (and when i say that, i mean it ... he's wunderbar and i have known him for ummm... 8 years i think) just broke up with his boyfriend this week. i'm sad for him, but also really happy because the match just wasn't right and J was always trying to make things work when they just aren't right.

this doesn't mean i condone just bailing on a relationship because it is tough, but their relationship was tough every day, all the time, and he worked his ass off. they went to counseling, they discussed, they reasoned, they argued, they understood (sometimes). and mostly it was J being dissatisfied and pouring every ounce of his precious soul into someone who just doesn't know how to love him the way he needs.

so J, since I'm pretty sure you don't read this blog, just know I love you and I know this situation is difficult at best, and stomping your heart into pulp at worst.

I love you.